So I happen to be a master at a turn of phrase and not in that cool way.. in that way that your brain must have been having a headstand contest with itself way. I have the innate ability to take any phrase and turn it bass ackwards. In doing this I continuously crack myself up even if I am talking to myself in the mirror (which happens regularly).
My friend Ana never lets me forget my famous "I'm supplised you said that" comment, as every time I get a letter from her she says "bet you're supplised I didn't forget ect. ect."
I have been lucky enough to surround myself with cool cats who seem to have the same problem for example my BFF molly when working at the pharmacy would continuously ask for people's Bird of Daith (quick translation for you slow thinkers Date of Birth) and even her rockin' sister called to "tancel a canning appointment" which of course we all know she was canceling a tanning appointment. Because let's be honest none of us "can" food and we only say tancel when we meant to say tinsel when it's Christmastime and we're more lit up than the tree.
I digress.
Turns out I come from a family of bass ackwardness. We take song lyrics and have them all changed around and quite frankly a lot of those musicians should have called us.. or Weird Al Yankovitch at least. I mean who wouldn't "treat your neighbor like a short mexican" or be watching for a "Secret Asian Man" We read things wrong "Pregnancy... what the.. oh it said Pharmacy." We hear things completely wrong "ohh look like she's a south paw too"... "What! She sells pot too!!" and then we just plain say things wrong "what the hell is a fachita? and still on the books my most famously inappropriate statement to date (and I had to dig):
When working in the second salon of my giant career, God only knows what I was rambling on about but I said "I'm farting to stink I understand". Now how on God's green earth does one make a flubber that makes perfect sense in a very gross way?
NAILED IT!
I'm starting to think you see where I'm going with this.
Maybe acts of danger toward the English language is going to be my super-villian power?
It might be my tup of kea........... not even kidding. :)
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