Beagle and Weinie (Hairy and Lloyd.. dumb and dumber)

So about a couple of months ago I got a wild hair up my behinder to get a puppy. I discussed it briefly with Jayke and he didn't completely shut it down so I began scanning the internet for this new family member. At first I was on the lookout for a beagle puppy. Since we already have Hairy-Larry-Stinkenstein who is a 10 year old beagle I thought he needs a com-rad. Then the more I pondered it I decided that he has been a bit of a neurotic freak his entire life (perhaps based on my parenting but I am not going to lay in front of that bus!) So I thought maybe I should look at some other breeds.

One day while perusing  the internet I came across Second Hand Hounds... and that's when I laid eyes on Mr. Wienie. Nolan is in love with the movie Open Season Two and there is a ridiculous daschund  named Mr. Wienie and there is a nutty lady who cruises around with her husband in a hippy camper who loves the crap out of Mr. Wienie. Nolan relates to Wienie and I relate to nutty lady. :) I didn't name him that he came that way. I simply added Lloyd and Cletus to add a touch of character. However this means that on a regular basis I find myself standing in my underwear at my front door in the wee hours hollering "WIENIE!" while he takes his own sweet time doing his business.

So for anyone who has ever adopted an animal will know this: it is intense! I felt like I had a applied for a job with the CIA. I applied, there's a home check, there's a meet and greet, and if you are still worthy you send them some serious coin and you get a daschund-basset hound mix that you instantly love.
Then some time passes and as all puppies do they begin to settle in.

So the beagle has a serious case of separation anxiety so therefore as soon as I put my shoes on or grab my keys he begins shivering at the horrible dramatic idea that he could be left alone for a whole hour to lounge on his dog bed and mill around my shoppe. Epic I know.

So previously the only battle was beagle chewing trim, scratching doorknobs, taking healthy dumps just because he can, and simply going all out postal. So when asked, "does having another dog around help him with his anxiety?" The answer is "no, now I just have a puppy watching him going 'okay..okay..so that's how we handle our private time.'"

Let's just go over some of the recent findings I have discovered upon leaving Wienie alone: Apparently he has an avid interest in knitting as he continuously weasels his big head into the pockets of the recliner in the living room and takes out all my knitting and trails it all over the room and then proceeds to snack on my bamboo needles. Which weren't cheap and could easily spear him if he isn't careful. These knitting needles look like something left behind by buffy the vampire slayer. (and I'm talking Kristy Swanson not that poser Sarah Michelle Gellar)... anyhow I digress.

I told him if it is absolutely necessary I will enroll him in a community ed knitting course but for the time being I am left unraveling my beautiful wool yarn from in and around my living room furniture.

Then over the weekend my sister stopped to let them out as they had been alone for all of 4 hours apparently Wien decided to pull out some of my old CD's and spread them around everywhere. In this case it would have been nice if he would have taken the time to rip some of the songs I like onto my computer because I just haven't found the time or the patience. How inconsiderate.

Among other things he enjoys coffee filters, stir sticks, the contents of my purse, Nolan's now amputee Sir Angus toy, batteries (that one involved some internet research), my underwear, empty toilet paper rolls, anything cardboard and my newspaper basket is obviously the most delicious snack ever.

This one is currently topping the charts though. He manages to squeeze his over-sized head into the box of coiled cotton in my shoppe and then removes miles of it, tears it up, potentially lays on it and by the time I get in to survey the damages it looks like a snowstorm has occurred in the southern hemisphere of my shoppe.

Kennel them you say?

Oh I have gone that route. The beagle who was a born escape artist frees himself from his metal crate by doing a spastic  maneuver of some sort. Upon release he heads to wienie's kennel and using his few teeth he has left squeezes the opening to Wien's kennel and releases him as well. I can't decide whether to commend them for  their perseverance or knock their heads together!

God bless em' they keep life interesting.
Not even kidding.